An imaginary conversation between two giants of tennis—with nothing to do. Must read!
(Source: Jason Gay /Wall Street Journal)
RAFA: Who is this?
FED: It is me, Rafa.
FED: Yes. It is Roger calling.
RAFA: Oh, Roger. I saw. You are out at Wimbledon, too. That made me sad, Roger. If not for me, I always root for you.
FED: I am the same, Rafa, I was sad to see you depart so early.
RAFA: What are you doing now?
FED: Nothing. I’m so bored, Rafa. Bored, bored, bored.
RAFA: Me, too.
FED: This morning, I folded all my bandanas.
RAFA: I folded all my bandanas, too!
FED: So many bandanas.
RAFA: Yes. So many bandanas.
FED: Tell me, Rafa: What do people do when they lose this early?
RAFA: It’s brutal. You have to stay away from the TV. No tennis highlights.
FED: Ugh. I know. I watch other sports. Tell me something: Who is Tebow?
RAFA: Tebow? I believe he plays cricket.
FED: But you’re not sure.
FED: There sure is a lot about news about Tebow.
RAFA: We were supposed to meet, Roger. Everyone expected us. There was so much excitement.
FED: Yes. In the quarterfinals. I thought it was cheesy, Rafa. Like having the Stones open up for Maroon 5. Sort of an insult, no?
RAFA: Perhaps, Roger. We have so many great memories at Wimbledon. Three finals.
FED: Yes. I won two.
RAFA: True. But I won the last one. The one everyone remembers.
RAFA: Roger? Roger?
FED: I remember, Rafa. That final was hard for me. I relive it many times. I still see us in the twilight. You biting the trophy. Me holding that crummy plate.
RAFA: I am sorry, Roger.
FED: Rafa, what did you do last year?
RAFA: Say that again?
FED: Last year. What did you do, when you lost. Second round. To Lukas Rosol.
RAFA: Phew. That was tough. I took some time off.
FED: You took a long time off, Rafa. No Open. No Australia. Not even Shanghai Rolex Masters.
RAFA: True. But when I came back, I won pretty much everything.
FED: You did win pretty much everything. You looked amazing, Rafa. But now this.
RAFA: “This.” You make it sound so horrible.
FED: It is horrible. Rafa, this does not happen to Roger. It hasn’t happened in so many years.
RAFA: You sound embarrassed.
FED: I’m not embarrassed. I have won 17 Grand Slams, Rafa.
RAFA: I have won 12, Roger. And I am only 27.
FED: Well who do you like to win Wimbledon now?
RAFA: We must cheer for Andy, Roger.
FED: Yes, Andy. Andy would be good. It would be sweet. A great story.
FED: Good for tennis.
RAFA: Yes. Good for tennis.
FED: Of course, had I won, it would also be good for tennis.
RAFA: What about Nole, Roger? What if Nole won?
FED: I am sorry. Did you say something? I was looking for my pet owl’s scarf.
RAFA: No, forget it. Nothing. Roger, do you ever think it is going to end?
FED: Don’t say that, Rafa. There are many journeys left. Many finals. Many more trophies.
RAFA: I hope so. I loved those days.
FED: Rafa, l need to ask you something.
RAFA: Yes, Roger?
FED: Do you need any orange-soled Nike sneakers? Banned by Wimbledon. Never been worn. I have, like, a zillion pairs. They’re totally outrageous.
RAFA: Nah. I’m good with sneakers. I’m just bored.
FED: Me too. So, so bored.
RAFA: See you in New York, Roger.
FED: I hope so, Rafa.
RAFA: Under the lights.
FED: For everything.
RAFA; It would be good for tennis, Roger.
FED: Yes, Rafa. So good for tennis.