Are You There, Rafa? It’s Me, Roger.

An imaginary conversation between two giants of tennis—with nothing to do. Must read!

(Source: Jason Gay /Wall Street Journal)

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Getty Images

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FED: Rafa?

RAFA: Who is this?

FED: It is me, Rafa.

RAFA: Roger?!

FED: Yes. It is Roger calling.

RAFA: Oh, Roger. I saw. You are out at Wimbledon, too. That made me sad, Roger. If not for me, I always root for you.

FED: I am the same, Rafa, I was sad to see you depart so early.

RAFA: What are you doing now?

FED: Nothing. I’m so bored, Rafa. Bored, bored, bored.

RAFA: Me, too.

FED: This morning, I folded all my bandanas.

RAFA: I folded all my bandanas, too!

FED: So many bandanas.

RAFA: Yes. So many bandanas.

FED: Tell me, Rafa: What do people do when they lose this early?

RAFA: It’s brutal. You have to stay away from the TV. No tennis highlights.

FED: Ugh. I know. I watch other sports. Tell me something: Who is Tebow?

RAFA: Tebow? I believe he plays cricket.

FED: But you’re not sure.

RAFA: No.

FED: There sure is a lot about news about Tebow.

RAFA: We were supposed to meet, Roger. Everyone expected us. There was so much excitement.

FED: Yes. In the quarterfinals. I thought it was cheesy, Rafa. Like having the Stones open up for Maroon 5. Sort of an insult, no?

RAFA: Perhaps, Roger. We have so many great memories at Wimbledon. Three finals.

FED: Yes. I won two.

RAFA: True. But I won the last one. The one everyone remembers.

(silence)

RAFA: Roger? Roger?

(silence)

RAFA: Roger?

FED: I remember, Rafa. That final was hard for me. I relive it many times. I still see us in the twilight. You biting the trophy. Me holding that crummy plate.

RAFA: I am sorry, Roger.

FED: Rafa, what did you do last year?

RAFA: Say that again?

FED: Last year. What did you do, when you lost. Second round. To Lukas Rosol.

RAFA: Phew. That was tough. I took some time off.

FED: You took a long time off, Rafa. No Open. No Australia. Not even Shanghai Rolex Masters.

RAFA: True. But when I came back, I won pretty much everything.

FED: You did win pretty much everything. You looked amazing, Rafa. But now this.

RAFA: “This.” You make it sound so horrible.

FED: It is horrible. Rafa, this does not happen to Roger. It hasn’t happened in so many years.

RAFA: You sound embarrassed.

FED: I’m not embarrassed. I have won 17 Grand Slams, Rafa.

RAFA: I have won 12, Roger. And I am only 27.

FED: Well who do you like to win Wimbledon now?

RAFA: We must cheer for Andy, Roger.

FED: Yes, Andy. Andy would be good. It would be sweet. A great story.

RAFA: Poetic.

FED: Good for tennis.

RAFA: Yes. Good for tennis.

FED: Of course, had I won, it would also be good for tennis.

RAFA: What about Nole, Roger? What if Nole won?

(Silence)

RAFA: Roger?

FED: I am sorry. Did you say something? I was looking for my pet owl’s scarf.

RAFA: No, forget it. Nothing. Roger, do you ever think it is going to end?

FED: Don’t say that, Rafa. There are many journeys left. Many finals. Many more trophies.

RAFA: I hope so. I loved those days.

FED: Rafa, l need to ask you something.

RAFA: Yes, Roger?

FED: Do you need any orange-soled Nike sneakers? Banned by Wimbledon. Never been worn. I have, like, a zillion pairs. They’re totally outrageous.

RAFA: Nah. I’m good with sneakers. I’m just bored.

FED: Me too. So, so bored.

RAFA: See you in New York, Roger.

FED: I hope so, Rafa.

RAFA: Under the lights.

FED: For everything.

RAFA; It would be good for tennis, Roger.

FED: Yes, Rafa. So good for tennis.

12 comments

  1. Yeah….My friends and I don’t know what to do…really Winbeldom without Roger and Rafa is
    “picotero”or converca de carrapito…. Roger and Rafa could meet,”Mano a mano” en Madrid and use The money to help Spanish people with the crisis and the large amount of refugees coming every day to Spain from North Africa and the rest of the world,that will stamp the superior class of the Two Maestros del Tennis…Si le gusta la idea tenemos q proponerla….fi you like the idea lets promote it….por una buena causa…..si Dios quiere…

  2. Nice and love it. I wish I had written that imaginary conversation between my idol Rafa and tennis great Roger Federer.

  3. I love this!!!!

    Roger: Where do we go from here?
    Rafa: We keep to fight, no? Always fight, and find a way.

    Roger: We shall meet again in a final. It will simply be beautiful.
    Rafa: Yes Roger, I think so, no? It’s good. I try to see you in America.

  4. Roger: I think they too are really bored without us at Wimbledon…
    Rafa: I think so too soooooo many fans have alreay told me so…

  5. huge egos but humble (most of the times except for once or twice rarely) as an ant. Great for sport and life.

  6. lol i love this. Love the bandanas and when roger went silent looking for his pet owls bandana when rafa asked him if he wants nole to win wimbledo. Lol. Im hoping for the these 2 great gracious legends to meet again. Maybe in the US Open perhaps? we will be waiting, until they meet again.

  7. Hahaha, what a great convo from the two GIANT LEGEND of Tennis my two (Rafa / Roger) BEST ever player. Love u both a lot and cant wait another journey of both of you together till the end. Good luck my two Heroes. God Bless. You can do fishing or spend time to both of your foundation together while waiting for the other tournament you will join.

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