As Rafa fans, we’ve always had so many questions for Rafa. We want to know EVERYTHING about him. Shoe size? Favorite color? Does he like Chinese food? But at the moment, some things take precedence over others. Today, before Rafa’s big final at Roland Garros, we want to know what he’s thinking and feeling. Since Rafa was a little busy, we “did our best” and asked the next available person that could answer for him. We bring you Pseudo Rafa (@PseudoRafa), who gives us this wonderful insight*. Read on. 

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It was november. I was in my bed thinking I never play tennis again.
You know how much I like to compete, no? I love the sport and I love being on court every day and just improve my game, no? That’s what I do. I try my best every day.
But my knee hurt and all my team said I couldn’t play, so I didn’t play. I trust my team, no? For sure Toni was especially worried. He was bringing me new bottles everyday and I was lining them up to pass the time. I line up 1000 bottles that week. But that don’t make me happy, no?
Then I had a strange dream. I was on a boat. The wind was strong but it didn’t bother me because I was not serving. I was not returning. I was fishing. But wind keep on throwing clay in my eyes and I can’t see. That bothers me, no?
Then I pick a big fish from the sea. It was a cod. A Murray cod, I think. The fish look at me and says: “You gonna win Paris again and you gonna be the greatest ever on clay.”
And I think “I’m not gonna win, I can barely walk how can I win a tennis match, no?”
But Murray cod continues: “If I’m a fish and I can speak spanish then anything is possible, no?”
For sure that was unbelievable experience and I wake up feeling full of energy and ready to play. Toni bring me my racquet that morning and I start practice again. For sure it felt unbelievable to play tennis again.
But then I lost to Horacio and I thought “How can I win with the top guys again? I’m not good enough. I’m gonna lose to players outside top 50 all year, no?”
I was trying my best but that was not enough.
Then I had another dream. I was on a boat. There was no wind but I didn’t care. I was fishing and it was good, no? But then I pick a fish and it’s not a fish. It’s a goat.
The goat looks at me and says “You gonna win Paris for the eight time and then become n.1 again.”
I think is not possible, no? After seven months without tennis. But I want to listen to what the goat says so I practice very hard and try my best even more, no?
Then my tennis improved day after day. I won on hard. And there was no blue clay this year. So I have hope. Coming here I can do good, no?

For sure reaching the final is unbelievable achievement for me. It’s gonna be tough and I’m gonna play every point like Toni’s life depend on it, no?
For sure I don’t feel I’m the favorite for the final. Davìd played unbelievable tournament and he can win. Doesn’t matter that I lost here only once in ten years. Doesn’t matter that he beat me on clay last time when I was 18. Doesn’t matter that it’s his first slam final and he feels already satisfied. Doesn’t matter that he says and believes that I’m better than him. I don’t think I’m favorite. Never. Even with Brands, not to mention Davìd, no? For sure if I must choose one player to beat me here I’d choose him. That’s because he’s a good person and unbelievable tennis player. And also because he is just not able to beat me anyway, no?

So here I am. I can be first in history to win the same slam 8 times, no? For sure it’s good to be considered among great names of the past. I don’t feel pressure before final. Mostly because I play Davìd, but also with Roger was the same.
I am grateful that Murray cod and the goat got out of the way this time. It would have been nice if Nole did that too, no? But I won anyway. I’m a bit tired now but doesn’t matter because in final I play Davìd, no?
For sure tomorrow I wanna celebrate #HIST8RY. I will #trymybest.

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An intense read, no? There is only one thing left to say. Please Rafa, try your best, and we will be cheering for you. VAM8S!!! And do follow the work of the wonderful Pseudo Rafa via twitter at @PseudoRafa.

*This is a parody. All content is the work of the author(s). None of the content represents Rafael Nadal or his associates.